Don’t take vacation advice from crazy people.
It seems this shouldn’t have to be said.
But I received a press release this week from a website purporting to have calculated “the most perfect day of the year” to spend outside for each state.
“We hope our research gives people across the country the best chance of getting great weather when going on their vacations,” the press release from FamilyDestinationsGuide.com said.
Apparently, the folks at FamilyDestinationsGuide.com believe the most perfect result for your vacation is a case of heat stroke — or else they didn’t pay much attention to their own description of what makes us most comfortable.
“Science suggests that your body feels less stressed without the need to thermoregulate itself in unnaturally heated or air-conditioned climates,” the press release said. “And of course, when the weather is good, we’re more likely to spend more time outdoors, which is a natural mood-enhancer. If you’re wondering what temperature is best for your body during summer, a thermostat setting of 78 degrees Fahrenheit is widely considered to be the most ideal.”
Perfect, so far.
I keep my home thermostat on 77 or 78 most of the summer, and I love those spring and fall days when outdoor temperatures are in the high 70s or low 80s.
The press release went on to explain that by analyzing weather data across the country, the website “had pinpointed the exact day each state can expect to experience the most perfect day of the year.” This was based on the date that typically has the most sunshine; the date that typically has the best temperature; and the longest day of the year.
But this turned out to be a formula for building the Frankenstein’s monster of days.
The “most perfect day” for North Carolina?
Weather records I found online said that the hottest day of the year in North Carolina is July 20, with a typical high right around 90, but highs way up in the 90s are not uncommon. Humidity is at its highest.
If you do ANYTHING outside in the afternoon that time of year, you have to drink a lot of water and take frequent cooling breaks.
Checking the website’s interactive map, it says the “most perfect day” in Miami is Aug. 1.
I have lived in South Florida, and I promise you that anyone with the leisure time and income to leave the region for weeks at a time clears out for all of July and August, at a minimum. You’ll find a bunch of them in Blowing Rock.
According to a different website, anytraveltips.com, “August in Miami is a very hot time. It is the 2nd hottest month of the year in Florida” — behind July — “with average high temperatures reaching 90°F. Humidity levels are high and afternoons get muggy.”
FamilyDestinationsGuide.com says the “most perfect day” for Phoenix is Aug. 4.
I have lived there too. That’s the time of year that tourists exploring the Sonoran Desert (as only tourists would) turn up delirious from sunstroke.
Any sensible person should have looked at the dates this “analysis” came up with and thrown the formula out because it greatly values daylight and lack of rain (even drought) over comfort.
Granted, people use the summer for vacation, but that’s usually to ESCAPE the heat, not BECAUSE OF the heat.
The press release even acknowledged that in North Carolina the date that typically has the best temperature is Sept. 15.
However, there is another possibility: The “analysis” was intended primarily to generate disbelief, the better to generate social media posts and mouse clicks. I see lots of press releases of that variety, but almost all of those are “best/worst” lists, such as “2022’s Best & Worst Places to Rent in America,” another press release that came this past week.
If that was the intent, all I can say is you got me, FamilyDestinationsGuide. Well done.